Memory's voice

It's 4:30 am and I am wide awake। It's not because I would credit it to my grieving for Jason. I just have not slept well since his death, 18 years ago. So I decided to write something that I hope makes sense. During the day I can hardly wait for nighttime to go to sleep and then I can't seem to stay asleep. The fatigue that can overcome me sometimes may be from the lack of sleep or from the need to stay awake and continue to go over in my mind the questions I still have after all these years. I don't ever expect to be "OVER" the death of my son. I just wonder when my life will feel complete. This may be a futile desire. For I will always have a void in my life. All I seem to able to do is fill that void with the memories of past. I will admit to the greatest fear I have. That is that my son Jason will be forgotten. So I keep writing, I keep talking, and I keep reaching out to others that have the same grief that I do. To offer hope that the days may never be the same but they will be tolerable and even when I allow it become full of joy for my abundant blessings in other places in my life. Don't lose faith and keep on doing what is needed to give each memory a voice in your life and in others life also.

Mom left behind.