I do have choices!!!

Have you ever had a day that you would just as soon cancel it for lack of interest? Well today would be that one for me. There are the moments that I question my self and all the choices I have made in my life. When given enough thought they can pull me down to a place that becomes sad, longing for things to be different. I don't really know how different I want things to be but the fact of the way things are now isn't it. I have discovered through many of those low days that they bring to light how very precious the days full of optimism and hope can be. Where did they go? How did I let them slip out of my hand?
Somehow I come to recognize that I have choices in my life and my attitudes that allow me to never stay sad, morose, empty and alone for too long. I have the ability no matter the circumstances to take charge of my life and make it a day of hope. I become aware of the people in my life and that I am assured of their love. I can grasp the fleeting thoughts that make sense to me. Thoughts that tell me that I am not crazy or destined for a life of depression. These revelations have not come easy. I have had to keep forging forward when I wanted to turn around and run to a safe place. (If there even is one) I wish I could tell you that I have achieved the art of "positive thinking or affirmations", but there are times that that just doesn't work. I do know that I have a friend that will never leave me nor forsake me. That is Jesus Christ. He has made that promise to me. All I have to do is reach out my hand to him. Offer him a place in my heart all always and the times of depression are decreased many times over. God offers his presence in many ways. Sometimes it's a hug from a grandchild, a smile from a stranger, a friends phone call. Many times it is in seeing someone that is in a greater need of God's love and reassurance than I am. I then have the opportunity to offer to them what God has given me. That God could possibly use me. It is an awesome fact and I feel so privileged to be able to be God's Hands, feet, and mouth to a dying world. I give God thanks every day for the time he has given me and I hope to never lose hold of the hand that has saved me.

Mom left behind